I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
