It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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