Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Randomize
