; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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