We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
