I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
