So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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