U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
