Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
