Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize