found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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