I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he shaved USA in his pubs
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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