Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Dicks are not precious.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
