These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize