question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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