Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
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He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
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Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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