I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
