C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
