im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
