I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
