He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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