I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize