i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
