I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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