just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
