i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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