I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
