VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
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I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
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If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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