What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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