i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
