Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
My breasts were aching with rage.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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