i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
