I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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