They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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