if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Randomize
