Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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