I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
