Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
