And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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