He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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