WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
