I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
