I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
