i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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