You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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