9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
