I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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