Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
God I need to hump something, right now.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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