Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
