very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
Randomize