she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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