I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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