Kareoke will never be a sober sport
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Randomize
