I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
