smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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