Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
It's never too late to be topless.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
