We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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