Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize