theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize