matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
The Most Iconic Met Gala Looks The Kardashian’s Have Rocked
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air