my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.