Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed