I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
