I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
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