I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
