So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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