So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Randomize
