Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
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