Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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