we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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